The Bitch is Back - and his Name's Gregg Doyle

Gregg Doyle is an idiot. This, to anyone who has the intestinal fortitude (and it takes a lot) to get through his columns on a regular basis, is not a surprise – nor is it news. You see, Gregg Doyle engages consistently in what the mzone so aptly calls Annoyance Journalism. That is to say that the columnist, radio host, etc. writes whatever he thinks will get the largest reaction, and thus, the largest number of hits on his company’s website. Today’s gem from Doyle can be found here, although I discourage you from clicking on it, partly because of the conundrum of increased hits = success for these douchebags, but mostly because after reading it you’ll want to wash your mouth out with cat poop just to extinguish the flavor.

Moronically titled “I may be a week late but wow, recruiting is an ugly mess,” the column goes on to attack (surprise!) the two programs with the largest fanbases in the Big Ten. He opens with the fact that recruiting is nasty business (no shit), but it’s necessary nasty business (also no shit). He expands on this riveting thesis thus:

New Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez ran amok, running four verbal commitments through his shredder as he stole recruits from Penn State, Purdue, Florida and Cincinnati. Purdue coach Joe Tiller seemed especially peeved, calling Rodriguez "a guy in a wizard hat selling snake oil." The late additions gave Michigan one of the best, and one of the most cut-throat, recruiting classes in the country. Great recruiting classes require a little bit of figurative throat-cutting, but this was especially brutal.

How brutal? Rodriguez out-slimed the slimiest coach in college football, Arkansas' Bobby Petrino, who got up to speed at his latest school by swiping three previously committed players, including one from Southern Cal, another from Texas Tech and a third from little bitty Troy. Because he could.

Hide the Children! Rodriguez is running amok! Visions of a giant Coach Rodriguez going Cloverfield on the campuses of Penn State and Purdue make me giggle a bit, as does the completely outdated “shredder” jab, but once we get to the meat of his point, the giggling subsides. Rodriguez out-slimed the slimiest coach in college football? Wow – harsh statement. How did he accomplish that? Simple. He recruited for Michigan when he became the Michigan head coach. Despite Joe Tiller’s (who raided Michigan State in '03, stealing a verbal, BTW) quivering Mustached claims, Rich Rodriguez is guilty of...recruiting. Hell, Gregg, you said it yourself – recruiting is a necessary evil. Here’s a tip from somebody not paid to write: don’t open your column by stating a fact that directly contradicts what you’re about to write. Brian at mgoblog has extensively covered the fact that every single coach steals verbals, so I’m not going to go over the list. Gregg continues:

Lots of you -- lots of you Michigan and Arkansas fans, I'm guessing -- will tell me that schools all over the country continue to recruit players who are committed elsewhere right up until signing day, and of course you're right. But Michigan landed four. Arkansas took three. At some point, no matter how jaded you are or how deeply you love your Wolverines or Razorbacks, don't you have to wince at such thievery? Just a little?

Ok great – so he admits that every school goes after commits right up to signing day, then lynches Michigan and Arkansas for being more successful at it than others. That’s like saying “Come on Michigan, can’t you just be nice and let Michigan State win every now and again?” Newsflash Gregg, this is SPORTS, and it’s meant to be a COMPETITION. Don’t get your panties twisted over the fact that two schools seem to do it better than the others. Had Joe Tiller’s Mustache been able to land a 4 star receiver that had committed to Michigan, you’d bet your boilermaking heart he’d do it in a second. But he couldn’t, which is why Purdue continues to be a middling program in the Big Ten. Hell, he’s skewering Michigan and Arkansas for getting the participation award. You know, the one everybody gets in gym class? Everybody participated, it’s just that Michigan and Arkansas did it better. You’re crucifying them for that?

Having run Michigan through the wringer, he turns his attention to Ohio State, because they have tons of people who will click the link too - not for insightful commentary, mind you, but for annoyance journalism. He summarizes a Cincinnatti Enquirer article like so:

1. On signing day, the story at the bottom right of the sports front page noted that OSU football coach Jim Tressel had signed the best receiver out of Cincinnati, DeVier Posey of La Salle High School.

2. On the same day, at the bottom left of that same page, a story noted that La Salle High was offering a school fund-raiser called "An Evening with Ohio State Coach Jim Tressel" on March 5. Tickets range from $60 for drinks and dinner to $175, which includes a photo op with Tressel as well as a football signed by the OSU coach.

3. Connect those dots. Tressel had never signed a player from La Salle until he got Posey. Likewise, Tressel has never donated an evening of his time to help raise money for La Salle until this year. And the "Evening with Jim Tressel" wasn't announced in the local newspaper until the day after Posey signed. Why? This is just a guess, but it's a good guess: If Posey had backed out of his commitment to Ohio State, Tressel wasn't going to have an evening with La Salle.

Right Gregg, because these things are never planned in advance. Jim Tressel knows the hand that feeds him is Ohio High School Football. He knows this because he’s spent his entire life coaching in the state. More than any coach I know, he strokes that hand by giving speeches, going to benefit dinners, and generally being one of the most visible coaches in the nation. And it works! You won’t find a single Ohio high school coach who speaks poorly of Jim Tressel. And guess where those coaches send their D-1 talent? You want to connect the dots, Gregg, connect them like this: Benefit dinners and good relationships = top notch Ohio meat to Ohio State. You are, just like you did with Michigan, accusing Jim Tressel of playing the game better than his peers.

Michigan and Ohio State routinely compete for the Big Ten title, and National Championships. They are able to do this because they are better than the rest in every facet of the game, and that includes recruiting. You want to know why the Colts and Patriots are perennially contenders? Look at the front office. You want to know why Michigan and Ohio State are perennially contenders? Look at how they operate in the off season. These two schools out recruit, and out play the competition. Gregg wants to lynch them for it, when he should be congratulating them. So a big congratulations to you, Gregg. You’ve been linked in countless message boards, and countless blogs including this one. But instead of the linkage being for insightful content, it’s for baseless and stupid inflammatory drivel. You, sir, are an idiot.

Why can't you just do what this guys tells you to?


(ht mzone)