Ramblin' Gamblin' Rambles On

Jim Tressel Scurred?: In a report by gleaned from The Wiz (and to a lesser extent the Tampa Tribune), Big Ten coaches are making pilgrimages to learn the secrets to defeating the Rich Rodriguez spread. Who is this spread-defeating kryptonite-toting Ravi Shankar? None other than South Florida defensive coordinator Wally Burnham, who has made a nasty habit of kicking the shit out of West Virginia in much the same way West Virginia kicks the shit out of the superiorly talented teams they play. Ohio State has sent down their secondary coach to learn from the great master, who sits on top of the highest hill in Florida eating mostly olives and virgins. Mention to an Ohio State fan that their coaching staff is...um...concerned...will earn you a tongue lashing consisting mostly of incomplete sentences consisting of the term "dickrod."


Is this man scurred?

My own take? The decidedly sub-par performances by West Virginia against South Florida are more a result of the "Northwestern effect" than anything. This effect occurs when two things happen simultaneously. First, your team must think they're pretty good, and must be reading press clippings saying they're pretty good. Second, they must be playing a team that they think is pretty bad. When these two things happen in conjunction, you get the Northwestern effect. Common symptoms include droopy eyes, reported hallucinations involving the color purple, and being down at half 14-3. Teams like Michigan and Ohio State usually overcome the Northwestern effect. Teams like West Virginia do not.


Welcome to the "Somewhat Big House:"

Michigan Stadium Pre-Renovation

You've no doubt read by now that Michigan's newly renovated stadium will not be the biggest house in the land, the title being usurped by Penn State. This is mostly a result of ADA compliance for which I'd love to be pissed about but...well...I feel too much like a douchenozzle. So my anger has been redirected towards inanimate objects such as phones, silly putty, my cat, and the idiots who didn't plan for this ahead of time. At least now the "I'm too old and rich to actually participate in this football game" crowd behind the wheelchair sections won't have to yell "down in front."

Michigan Stadium Post-Renovation (HT 11W)



March Madness: It's upon us! Hide the children! I'll be in Vegas next week for opening rounds. If that sounds like a bad idea to you, you're 100% correct. I plan on parking my fat ass in a sports book and not moving until I get cut off, kicked out, or run out of cash. In other words, I'll be there for an hour or so.


Terrelle Pryor is thinking things over: In response to Champ's post from a few days ago, I would just offer this: we're crazy. I write a website nobody reads (thank you to those who do) about college football because...um...I'm crazy. Absolute window-licking batshit crazy. Normal people don't do this. So, when Terrelle Pryor doesn't decide to choose a school, we go more crazy. The kid will make up his mind when he makes up his mind. I, unlike most buckeyes I know, don't think he's "like, sooooooo going to Ohio State." I think he's genuinely torn between a few options, and is thinking things over. And playing basketball. And being a high school senior. As for the recent fights - see previous sentence. When I was a high school senior, I loved fights. I loved watching them, I loved backing up my boys, and I loved the fact that very, very rarely was a punch thrown. I would only be upset if it came out that his teammates were throwing down, and Pryor didn't back them up. He's not a bad kid, he's not a drama queen, and he's not an attention whore. He's a high school senior who is getting put down from all angles by complete dweebs who write college football websites and post on message boards. I somehow think it'll work out for him.


Above: Not an Attention Whore; Drama Queen
Above: High School Senior

In Honor of St. Paticks Day: I command you, dear reader, to play this on repeat until I post the "Leak/Tebow Spreadin' Like Butter" feature, which at this rate will come out sometime before Memorial Day.