Iowa Football 2009 - Crystal Balls

Why isn't there a porn star named Crystal Balls?

A quick note from Beauford:

The final installment of Iowa's ridiculously early preview comes to us from as close an expert as we'll ever be in contact with. His name? Oops Pow Surprise. He writes for a fine (professional-speak for "awesomely awesome") blog called Black Heart Gold Pants, and knows more about Iowa football than I do about sleeping. I beg you to add BHGP to your daily reading if it isn't already there.

Without further ado, OPS on Iowa football:

-B2

One thing the media will harp on that is ridiculously off base:
Quarterback Jake Christensen. Obviously the quarterback is the most important position on the team, but JC's struggles were largely a result of a decimated receiving corps and a patchwork offensive line. All three should be improved this season.

One thing the media will completely ignore that is integral to this team's success:
I can't predict what the media will or won't cover, but the absolute biggest key to Iowa's success this season is the offensive line. With it, the hastily-compiled running back corps will have holes to run through and Christensen won't be running for his life a half-second after he gets the snap.

Most important contributors on each side of the ball:
OFFENSE: The Flyin' Hawaiian, Tony Moeaki. He's a highly touted tight end who's every bit as good a blocker as he is a receiver. With him, the Iowa offense succeeded in all facets (granted, it was against the Syracuse defense, but whatever). Without him, the Hawkeyes struggled. Pretty simple.

DEFENSE: LB A.J. Edds (it's pronounced Eads. I don't know why.). He's a converted tight end whose pursuit and coverage skills are nonpareil. With Sean Lee out for the season, Edds is an odds-on (pronounced oads-on--again, don't know why) favorite for 1st team All-BXI at linebacker. Then again, if he gets a touch of the injury bug, Iowa is F-U-C-T fucked.

Area that scares you as an opponent:
If Iowa has a #1 tailback emerge and if the offensive line begins to play up to Iowa standards, the Hawkeyes will be very tough to beat in 2008. The defense is as stout as it's ever been, and 17 points ought to be enough to win most games they play.

Area that makes you salivate as an opponent:
All those ifs in the preceding statement. The offensive line returns just about everybody from a stunningly inept unit in 2007, and the tailbacks are... a juco transfer who hasn't played in 18 months, another juco who's about a buck 65 soaking wet and who cannot block, someone named Jeff, someone named Jewel, aaaand this guy.



Shown above in action; below in awesomeness



Yes, Hawkeyes, run on us. We beg you.

Random factor that you think will come into play this season:

Same as every year--it's injuries. Who will be the 3 or 4 kids who get dinged up before the season and never really contribute? Will they be all backups or key starters? Can Iowa afford another season of losing everybody at receiver? (answer: NO.)

Overall Record:
This could be all over the place. With the cupcake schedule Iowa's got in front of them, 9-3 or 10-2 is totally plausible. Seriously. All their tough games are at home and they don't play OSU or Michigan. But SMQ's law of scheduling or something dictates that you should be wary of any team where the best thing you can say about them is who they don't play. Also, this team lost to WESTERN FUCKING MICHIGAN BY NINE FUCKING POINTS last season, so let's not consider many wins "automatic." Therefore, 6-6 (or, god forbid, worse) is also totally plausible too. Let's jump in the middle and say 7 or 8 wins. Probably 8, unless severe injury problems wreck the conference slate.

Final Big Ten Standing:

8-4 (4-4) is good enough for 6th.

Bowl Destination:
Being that Iowa is an attractive bowl team, they'll probably get picked up by the 4th or 5th bowl if they finish at 8-4 (4-4). That would be either the Champs or the Sun Bowl. It's better than sitting at home with the Cyclones over Christmas, but it's still not great. Remember that this Iowa team was, just 3-4 short years ago, in a four-year streak of NYD bowls that only about four or five schools in the nation could match at the time. The Sun Bowl, therefore, is not exactly where the fans want to be. Expect more off-season grumbling from Iowa City unless the Hawkeyes reach at least the Outback.