Minnesoooooota: The Preview, eh?

Not Canadian? Who cares?!

The Minnesota Golden Gophers enter this season with "regression towards the mean" as a rather dubious goal. Last year? The Gophers were a mess. 1-11 overall, with an 0-8 conference record and a Big-Ten standing so low it would take Alvin to get there. What's Alvin? That, right there to the left, is Alvin. The Gophers were, without question, one of the worst football teams in America. However, that is not to say that there is not hope in Gopherland.

2007 Season in One Word: Atrocious. But then, there was Tim Brewster's claim that a few bounces one way or the other would have had his team at 5 wins, so really, that 1-11 record is rather misleading. Of course, this is akin to me saying "a few bounces one way or the other, and I could be the father of Jessica Alba's baby." and "a few bounces, and Michigan would be competing for their 32nd consecutive National Championship." There is no way to spin 1-11 so that it sounds good: it's still 1-11. At any rate, it hasn't stopped Brewster's enthusiasm for the program, as evident by his motivational Tourette's Syndrome. Under Glen Mason, Minnesota had only missed a bowl game three times, and only once since 1999. However, in looking at past seasons, Minnesota has fluctuated from "just good enough for a bowl game" to "awful." It could very well be that Brewster's first season coincided with a year that was destined to be "awful" from the get-go.

2008 Tangibles:

Schedule

8/30 Northern Illinois
9/06 @ Bowling Green
9/13 Montana State
9/20 Florida Atlantic
9/27 @ Ohio State
10/04 Indiana
10/11 @ Illinois
10/25 @ Purdue
11/01 Northwestern
11/08 Michigan
11/15 @ Wisconsin
11/22 Iowa

The schedule isn't too grinding; a fairly tame OOC slate, followed by your standard Big Ten fare. There is no brutal stretch of demoralizing games, and on the surface, many appear winnable.


Coach

Tim Brewster enters his second season as Head Coach of the Golden Gophers. He is pictured above, holding his balls.

Returning Playmakers

Adam Weber returns from a 2007 campaign that saw him leading the team in passing and rushing. He has solidified the starting spot, and has become a more vocal leader throughout the spring. The departure of quarterback Clint Brewster (Tim's son) makes the decision to start Weber easier for all involved. Of course, this could be complete BS: I have no idea if Clint was even on the radar to get playing time. I am, however, still bitter about losing playing time to the coaches son in Pee-Wee.

Defensively, the standout this spring has been a juco transfer safety named Tramaine Brock. The Gophers led the nation in suck last year defensively, so they're going to need all the help they can get.

Special Added Feature! Reason for Hope!

Tim Brewster has, by all rights, been an animal on the recruiting trail. Please witness this video for proof:


A few things:

1) Minnesota DEFINITELY leads the nation in recruits with creepy eyes.
2) What is with the music selection? It sounds like we're either in a Mario dungeon, or a lame jazz club. Either way, it's not the usual gangster rap, so that's a plus? Who knows. I'm going to make a highlight film featuring nothing but Robert Goulet, and see how that goes over.