Functionality Update

Please press play before reading this post:



First, I am hosting the Roundtables this week, as you may have seen from your various stops along the information super highway. Recently, I've thought the roundtable questions had gotten a bit repetitive and so-forth, so I decided to switch things up and make them Jeopardy style - with me providing the answers, and the various BTB'ers supplying the questions. Results have been mixed so far - full report on Friday. The "answers" are:

1) Jay Paterno and the Spread HD

2) Joe Tiller's Mustache

3) The Color Purple

4) Brains

5) Hawkeye State

6) Rudy

7) Knee Ligaments

8) Terrell Pryor

9) Mark May

10) Rich Rodriguez

Feel free to leave your best "question" pertaining to any of these answers in the comments section. I'll probably bump a few of them in the wrap-up post if they're any good.

Second, The Daily Gopher has been running a Big Ten games Pick'em that I've been participating in behind the scenes. I was in 2nd place until a disasterous Saturday. I'm now, like, in 12th or something. Either way, you can always check the standings at TDG if you're so inclined.

Third, I will be travelling tomorrow and Friday, and posting may be light, depending on Champ's schedule. I will have the Roundtable wrap up on Friday, but that's it in terms of regularly scheduled broadcasting. The good news is that I will be travelling to the Clemson vs. Wake Forest Thursday night game. Look for me on TV - I look awesome in High Def. A full tailgate/game experience report will be forthcoming.

Fourth, given the dearth of Wisconsin blogs, I was asked some questions about the upcoming Penn State vs. Wisconsin game by friend of the blog Zombie Nation. If you're craving some Beauford (and who isn't?) run over there for my take on the game.

It's the smell...I feel...saturated by it

College Football: Get Saturated!

I was on a run yesterday, which is strong language suggesting that I was doing more than ambling with intent, which I was not. But none the less, I was moving at a gait between "walk" and "run" specifically reserved for those who are not built like runners, and should probably stick to more motorized forms of transportation. It's painful, and I should probably not be observed doing it too often, which is why I tend towards the more deserted part of the park by which I live. It was here, unexpectedly, that I got my first taste that college football was about to start. You see - I live in New England, where pro sports dominate, and college football gets about as much airtime as Jai-Lai. It's been hard to get fired up about this season. But yesterday, on my little deserted part of the path, I got the jolt I needed. There was another runner, moving significantly faster than I, coming at me. She had on Ohio State gear - from her headband to her shorts - she was Scarlet and Gray. I was wearing a Michigan Tee. We didn't stop, we didn't exchange words, but we glared at each other long and hard as our paths crossed. I think I even detected a bit of a buckstache on her.

The point here isn't to bore you with insignificant ramblings on my own personal life, but rather to see what it takes to get you ready for the season. For me, this season, it took a rival fan and a mutual acknowledgment of disdain to get me going. But man - can you feel it? Only one week until the season; only one week until the beginning of the Carnival.

Leave a comment: when do you start getting fired up about the season?

The Two Guys Using Logic Poll…

Brought to you by Beauford and Champ. No, we’re not in any particular poll guild or league that will combine our individual thoughts into some larger consortium and produce a super-poll that is greater than the sum of its individual parts. Rather, it’s just us… which is fine. Here’s how it’ll work. Each week B-squared and I will each come up with our version of the Logic Poll and compare. We will then tally up each team’s rank in each of our polls and add it together… lowest cumulative total is ranked highest, and we go on down the line. If two teams happen to tie at the end of the season, B2 and I will retreat to our bat-cave and determine which team is deserving of a higher rank through a complex process of coin-flips and arguments filled with hyperbole.

If there is a large disagreement in rank for a particular team between our two submissions… like, I don’t know… say Penn State for example, you know just for example’s sake and all. Anyways, if there’s a discrepancy then we will attempt to give you, the reader, some kind of justification for why we think that team is much better/worse than the other seems to. I know you can feel the excitement building can’t you?

Yes, I can barely contain myself; I haven’t been this excited since Tim Dwight learned how to catch punts and we decided to put feathery things on our jerseys...




My goodness, it's Hayden Fry! Welcome! That was quite a look coach…

Your damn right it was, pink locker-room, feathers, mandatory dresses for Saturday morning walk-throughs, by God whatever it took to win… Now get back to your poll.


Alright.

Wait... just how do you handle if one team is unranked in one half of your poll but ranked in the other?



Good question coach. Unranked gets a total 26 added for the unranked value (arbitrary as hell) and a big asterisk in front of their name so that we make sure to consider that the following week. Hopefully, the number of asterisks diminishes as time goes on... naturally, however, towards the bottom of the Top 25 there's going to be some.


Fair enough, we settled disputes for starting roles by having players pillow-fight in the visiting locker-room, but your idea could work too. Continue on.


Alrighty. So here’s the official preseason Logic Poll brought to you by Beauford and Champ (ties stand for now because, frankly, it'll all work out as we get on down the road):

1. University of Ohio State (2)
2. Oklahoma (5)
2. USC (5)
4. Georgia (8)
5. Florida (11)
5. Missouri (11)
7. Clemson (14)
8. West Virginia (18)
9. LSU (20)
10. Texas (22)
11. Va Tech (24)
12. Penn State (26)
12. Auburn (26)
14. BYU (31)
15. Wisconsin (33)
15. South Florida (33)
17. Tennessee (34)
18. Texas Tech (37)
18. Utah (37)
20. ** Arizona State (39)
21. Wake Forest (40)
22. ** Kansas (41)
23. Michigan (45)
23. Oregon (45)
25. ** Cal (47)
------- Others Receiving Consideration-------
- Central Michigan (49)
- Michigan State (51)

So there you have it! Preseason fillibustering at its best. Now for the airing of grievances:

A. Penn State... Beauford says they're a top ten team because they'll likely finish second in the Big 10... Champ politely disagrees and thinks that extreme caution should be exercised on highly ranking any team with Jay Paterno involved, especially when it has a "new" offense, no experience at quarterback, and no real offensive playmakers to speak of... oh and their defense continues to break extremities and such. Penn State ends up 12th in the preseason poll, which is still six spots too high. Of course if they get past the Beavers of Oregon State, they play nobody until a buzz-saw of Wisconsin, Michigan, and Ohio State all in a row.

B. West Virginia - Blue-light special here... both Beauford and I think that WVU could be in for a significant case of Bobby Williams Fever here in a month or two. We rank them up in the Top 10 thanks to another paint-peeling performance in a bowl game, but let's just say that we doubt Bill Stewart's ability just a tad... particularly now that nearly the entire staff is gone, gone, gone.

C. South Florida... Beauford has them in the top 10... they end up 15th in our preseason poll largely due to my placing them near the bottom of the Top 25. I happen to think there are more than only 8 or 9 teams out there that would beat South Florida, perhaps they'll prove me wrong.

D. Arizona State... I had them in the top 15 because they're a decent football team in a crappy conference. We'll see what happens.

Working Late

Please leave your favorite Calvin and Hobbes quote in the comments section. If you don't know any, then go buy this, and get back to me. I'm swamped, and would love to post something relevant, but outside of a half-finished Northwestern preview, I got nothin...

B2