Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Functionality Update

Please press play before reading this post:



First
, I am hosting the Roundtables this week, as you may have seen from your various stops along the information super highway. Recently, I've thought the roundtable questions had gotten a bit repetitive and so-forth, so I decided to switch things up and make them Jeopardy style - with me providing the answers, and the various BTB'ers supplying the questions. Results have been mixed so far - full report on Friday. The "answers" are:

1) Jay Paterno and the Spread HD

2) Joe Tiller's Mustache

3) The Color Purple

4) Brains

5) Hawkeye State

6) Rudy

7) Knee Ligaments

8) Terrell Pryor

9) Mark May

10) Rich Rodriguez

Feel free to leave your best "question" pertaining to any of these answers in the comments section. I'll probably bump a few of them in the wrap-up post if they're any good.

Second, The Daily Gopher has been running a Big Ten games Pick'em that I've been participating in behind the scenes. I was in 2nd place until a disasterous Saturday. I'm now, like, in 12th or something. Either way, you can always check the standings at TDG if you're so inclined.

Third, I will be travelling tomorrow and Friday, and posting may be light, depending on Champ's schedule. I will have the Roundtable wrap up on Friday, but that's it in terms of regularly scheduled broadcasting. The good news is that I will be travelling to the Clemson vs. Wake Forest Thursday night game. Look for me on TV - I look awesome in High Def. A full tailgate/game experience report will be forthcoming.

Fourth, given the dearth of Wisconsin blogs, I was asked some questions about the upcoming Penn State vs. Wisconsin game by friend of the blog Zombie Nation. If you're craving some Beauford (and who isn't?) run over there for my take on the game.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Juice Williams: Purveyor of Pain

Illinois fans will tell you that when you put the ball in Juice's hands, somebody is gonna die. There's a good chance that Juice will line up that defense staring at him and rifle down each member in different, awesomely soul-crushing ways. There's an equal chance that in an attempt to do just that, he'll get the business end of the rifle all twisted around and end up massacring his own team, cheerleaders, and half of those in attendance. Somebody's gonna die indeed.

This Saturday, Juice got it right.

That may be an enormous understatement. Juice got it more right than any player ever has in the history of players playing football against Michigan at Michigan Stadium. Player.

That's surprising to me, almost stunning in the wake of two performances last year that left my jaw hanging on the floor. Armani Edwards and Dennis Dixon eviscerated, re-viscerated, then eviscerated one more time good measure, the Wolverines last year. And Juice Williams holds the record for most beat-down given by a single player? Yes. Yes he does. He played the role of Running Back, Quarterback, and Executioner.

And that's something to remember as Illinois rolls through this season. Every once in awhile, Juice points that rifle at you and mows you down. It happened to Ohio State last year - who managed to contain the explosion just enough not to get blown out. It happened to Michigan this year. My guess is that the next team to take Juice and the Illini offense as lightly as Michigan did will be the next victim. They're probably not the best team in the Big Ten, but Illinois can make noise - and the rest of their schedule had better be ready for it.



Kiillllllllllll!!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Is Northwestern Really the Worst 5-0 Team in the Country?

[editor's note: I wrote the bulk of this prior to South Florida's upset last night. The upset doesn't render anything obsolete, but is mildly annoying. Also, this post includes only teams that are 5-0, the qualifying standard being 5 wins - not being undefeated.]

BHGP, purveyors of Iowa Football and to a lesser extent Black Tar Heroin, called Northwestern the "worst 4-0 team in the nation" in the events leading up to their soul-crushing defeat at the hands of the purple helmet. Despite the loss, BHGP forged ahead, saying the following:
"Northwestern is now the worst 5-0 team in all of college football history after Iowa took a 17-3 lead late in the first half, then committed a series of unforced errors that allowed Northwestern to come back and win."
Hyperbole aside, I spent the remainder of the day wondering if there was any way to statistically prove (or disprove) that statement. As readers of this blog will know, I've been unusually high on Northwestern compared to many of my peers and almost all of major sports media. Northwestern does indeed sit, along with 6 other teams, at 5-0. But are they the worst 5-0 team in the country?

The Contenders

Northwestern
Penn State
Alabama
UConn
South Florida
Utah
Ball State

Rankings

The first thing to look at when trying to determine the worst 5-0 team in the country is, simply, rankings. The AP poll ranks the 5-0 teams thusly:

Alabama (2)
Penn State (6)
South Florida (10)
Utah (15)
Connecticut (24)
Ball State (not ranked - 29)
Northwestern (not ranked - 30)

The coaches poll is in the same order, except that Northwestern and Ball State are switched up at the bottom, with Northwestern knocking on the door of being ranked, and Ball State mired in the "others receiving votes" category. In the two major polls, the battle for worst is clearly fought between Ball State and Northwestern. However, since this is a blog, we would be remiss not to include the blogpoll, which has the teams ranked in the same order, except that Northwestern is actually #25, while Ball State is firmly entrenched in "others receiving votes." That's three polls, two of which have Ball State as being the worst 5-0 team in the country, not Northwestern. This, however, is of questionable use because there are countless polls out there, and to say that two of three arbitrarily picked polls have Northwestern slightly ahead of Ball State is far from anything close to empiracal. However, it needs to be noted that both bloggers and the MSM think that the battle for worst 5-0 team is going to be fought between Ball State and Northwestern.



Resume

Let's take a look at the team-by-team resume of the contenders:

Alabama: Bama has the strongest resume of anyone is College Football. They are immediately disgarded as a contender, both for this reason and common sense reasons.

Penn State: Penn State has a home win over Illinois to its name. Other than that, they've played cupcakes, Oregon State's win over USC be damned. However, Illinois was ranked when they played, and Oregon State could be better than we think, although I kinda doubt it. Having watched Penn State play, however, I think they're stronger than South Florida, UConn, and the rest save for maybe Utah and Alabama. They are removed from consideration.

UConn: UConn is the closest to "Ball State and Northwestern" territory in the rankings, so a weak resume could vault them right back into contention. Their five victories are over the following teams:

Hofstra
@ Temple
Virginia
Baylor
@ Louisville

This is a weak slate of teams who probably won't be bowling this winter. Only Louisville and Baylor have shown any life, and UConn almost found a way to lose to both. UConn definitely stays in contention with this resume.

South Florida: Sure, they're a top ten team, but Champ had his concerns about the Bulls early, saying
"Champ voices disagreement with B2 for the second consecutive week regarding the Bulls who reside in the Southern region of Florida. Again, I think there's a number of teams out there that would beat USF right now, and that number is larger than nine."
Rankings-wise, they are a top ten team, but that is largely due to attrition at the top - not dominating performances by South Florida. South Florida, this is your resume:

Tennessee Martin (ed. - who?)
@ UCF
#13 Kansas
@ Florida International
@ NC State

Not exactly a run of prime mathcups, but not as weak as Penn State's cake-fest either. I haven't been sold on Kansas at all but the fact remains that they are still ranked #16, so that win counts in the quality column. Also, the Bulls have managed to win on the road 3 times. South Florida's resume, IMO, takes them out of contention for worst 5-0 team. (ed. - again, I wrote this before their loss last night. South Florida is now the best 5-1 team in the country. Also the only 5-1 team in the country.)

Utah: Utah is a good team that both Champ and I were high on from the start. Their resume looks like this:

@ Michigan
UNLV
@ Utah State
@ Air Force
Weber State

Take out UNLV and Weber State, and you've got a pretty good resume, especially given that nearly all their tough games have been on the road. This resume eliminates them from contention. Utah - you are not the worst 5-0 team in the country (ed. - Utah is now the only 6-0 team in the country, which, unlike South Florida, strengthens my assertion).

Ball State and Northwestern: Now we're getting down to the nitty-gritty. 4 teams have strong enough resumes to be removed from consideration. Since these two teams appear to be the leading contenders (with UConn closing...) we'll look at them together. Ball State's resume looks like this:

Northeastern
Navy
@ Akron
@ Indiana
Kent State

Compared to Northwestern's

Syracuse
@ Duke
Southern Illinois
Ohio
@ Iowa

There isn't much to sway the argument either way. You could almost look at it like this:

Syracuse = Northeastern
Duke = Navy
Southern Illinois = Akron
Ohio = Kent State
Iowa = Indiana

I would say that Navy is probably better than Duke, but by the same token, Iowa is probably better than Indiana. It's a wash. Neither team has a signature win, which is why they are both still leading contenders. After the resume section, it's a three horse race between UConn, Ball State, and Northwestern.

Statistical Comparisons

Given that all three teams remaining have eearily similar resumes, it's safe to say that the strength of the opponents have been relatively equal for all three teams. As such, a statistical comparison should yeild some good results. Let's do a quick rundown of some major catagories:

Points Per Game:
Ball State - 41.4
Northwestern - 25.0
UConn - 29.8

Yards Per Play:
Ball State - 7.1
Northwestern - 5.1
UConn - 5.6

Rushing Yards Per Game:
Ball State - 185 YPG
Northwestern - 149 YPG
UConn - 255 YPG

Passing Yards Per Game:
Ball State - 285.4 YPG
Northwestern - 213 YPG
UConn - 138 YPG

The takeaway offensively is that Ball State has the best, most well rounded offense. UConn can rush the ball, but can't (or won't) throw it. Northwestern, however, is last in every catagory except for passing yards, and as such, Northwestern takes the lead for worst 5-0 team. Let's look at the defense.

Yards Allowed Per Game:
Ball State - 384.6
Northwestern - 319.8
UConn - 314.4

Scoring Defense PPG
Ball State - 20.2 PPG
Northwestern - 12.4 PPG
UConn - 14.2 PPG

Turnover Margin
Ball State - 0.6
Northwestern - 0.6
UConn - 0.0

Defensively, it's Northwestern carrying the torch, allowing a measly 12.4 points per game. With that defense, its no wonder the Wildcats offense doesn't have to do much. Meanwhile, Ball State's defense is bordering on awful - relying heavily on their offense to light it up. UConn remains decidedly "meh" defensively. Both Ball State and Northwestern are in the positives for turnover margins, which is good.

Combine the fact that UConn has a barely stronger resume, and doesn't find themselves on the extreme short end of the stick statistically, we can eliminate them from contention.

The Takeaway

It's between Ball State and Northwestern for sure - just like the polls said it was. Northwestern has the 9th best scoring defense in the country, while Ball State has the 13th best scoring offense in the country. Meanwhile, Ball State's scoring defense registers at 45th in the coutry. Northwestern's offense fares no better, clocking in at the 75th best scoring offense.

Since Northwestern's offense takes the cake for ineffeciency, it is indeed safe to say that Northwestern is the worst 5-0 team in college football.

They shouldn't, however, be taken lightly by any conference foe. As long as their defense comes to play, the Wildcats will be in contention to win every game.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

BTB Roundtable Questions: We Didn't Write These Questions Edition

Onward and upward, my Big Ten friends! We forge ahead, never daunted, into the formerly uncharted waters of the Buckeye Psyche. That's right - this week's questions are courtesy of Our Honor Defend, a Buckeye blog that - get this - takes its name from the fight song! Clever girl. Then again, we take our name from...wait...where did we get this name? Champ? Is this really the only game that matters? I mean - there are plenty of games that matter more: the game of life, the game of love, the most dangerous game...maybe we need a fight song.

Either way, here we are, nomenclature be damned.

On to the questions!

01. We're all basically in conference play now, sans Purdue who played
visitor to Notre Dame over the weekend. What did you see in the
conference opener that you liked? What did you see that sucked
noodles? If you're one of the Purdue blogs, what did you see against
Notre Dame that has you nervous (or even optimistic) for your
conference opener against Penn State this Saturday? Oh, and, have fun
with that game, by the way.

There isn't a Wisconsin blogger of any reliability here in this group, so I'll take on Wisconsin:

What I liked: I liked the defensive line. They were blowing UM off the ball in the first half, and were the primary reason for the obvious disruption in the UM offense. Offensively, Everidge didn't have a bad day, it's just that his major mistake went for 6 the other way. He also had a ton of pressure in his face from UM's own defensive line. I liked how our defense forced turnovers - even if Michigan helped a ton.

What I didn't like: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. There. Now that's out of the way. Rationally, I didn't like the playcalling. Michigan was blitzing a ton and we didn't make them pay. I think (correct me if I'm wrong) the first screen play that we set up went for 40 yards or so. Too bad that was in the 4th quarter. Also, I didn't like the penalties. On two separate occasions, penalties (a roughing the passer and the ineligible receiver) allowed Michigan to maintain a drive, or stop us from scoring. If more restraint (or just plain common sense) is used on either play - UM has a much, much harder time winning that ball game. Finally, I saw warning signs from the secondary. On several occasions, UM had a guy deep with a step. Threet couldn't make us pay; others will.

Also - sucking noodles is fun, impolite, and delicious. Never shall the term "sucking noodles" be used to connote a bad thing again.

02. Ole Miss punked #4 Florida in Gainesville. #1 USC got punked by
Oregon State on national television? What's the underlying theme
behind these bizarre upsets? You guessed it: magic. Some kind of
hocus-y pocus-y sorcery in the form of "familiarity". The idea being
pitched around is that these upsets come in conference games because
the underdog has played the heavily favored team before, and thus
isn't afraid of them nor surprised by anything they do. Should I buy
this idea? Or are these upsets more likely the combination of
something more conventional, like great/horrendous gameplanning,
preparation and execution by the underdog/favorite team respectively?

That question, when properly sorted, simply asks "why do significantly outmatched teams beat really really talented teams?"

As always, I have a theory.

I think that a great deal of "winning" comes from the play of the linemen on both sides of the ball. If the offensive line is getting a good push, the offense works - it's that simple. The Quarterback could be primed to have the game of his life, if pass protection isn't there, he won't be successful. A Tailback could be ready to carry for 212 yards on 47 rushes - if the run blocking isn't there, he won't be successful. The offense stops and starts with the offensive line. A lot of times, I think these linemen get ready to face a team that they've deemed - despite their coache's instance to the contrary - weak, and expect a walk-through. Meanwhile, on the other side of the line, the previously named "weak" line is getting ready for the game of their life.

Look at USC: Sanchez was running for his life for the majority of the game. His offensive line came out expecting to dominate, found out that those defensive guys are D-1 players too, and they're really really trying, and couldn't switch it on in time to save the defeat. Same with USC's defensive line - which is why they allowed mini-back to run all over them.

The bottom line (get it?) is this: If the linemen come to a game expecting to push around the opposition at practice speed, that team is primed for an upset. It almost happened when Ohio State played Ohio, it did happen when USC played the other OSU, and it will happen again this season.

03. Entering the season, Beanie was the Big Ten's Heisman favorite.
After a few games, Javon Ringer had put up the Heisman stats, though I
don't think anyone could've believed that Ringer would have the hype
machine necessary to get him to New York. Yet, after this week, I see
his name mentioned more and more in the Heisman race. Do you think
Ringer, at this pace, gets to New York on something more than a
courtesy visit (on courtesy visit, see: everyone last year not named
Tim Tebow; everyone in 2006 not named Troy Smith)? How about Daryll
Clark? Is Daryll Clark of Penn State legitimately in the Heisman race
after week 5?

Ringer might get a nice trip to New York and a front-row seat to watch the Heisman get handed to SEC/B12 QB de jour. I've written before that the Heisman, almost exclusively, goes to the best quarterback on a conference championship contending team. It takes a very, very special runningback or wideout to win that award - and although I like Ringer - Reggie Bush he ain't.

04. With the nonconference schedule basically over, do you think the
Big Ten collectively bettered its standing from the maligned position
it was in before the season began? For every Wisconsin victory over
Fresno State and Penn State thrashing of Oregon State, there's
Michigan's turnover bonanza against the Irish and Ohio State's
neutering by USC. Long question short, what sticks out more: the
positives or the negatives for the conference?

No, no, and no. This non-conference season simply re-enforced the fact* that the Big Ten is a middle of the road BCS conference.

05. As I'm sure you may have seen on your moving pictures box, the
Ernie Davis movie has been getting a lot of publicity for its imminent
release to theatres. The story, of course, centers around the first
African-American Heisman winner and some of the trials that come from
being a black athlete, playing before the Civil Rights movement and
playing in the Cotton Bowl. Does your football program have an
uplifting story that you think is movie-worthy? If so, please share
it.

In 1998, a player named Josh discovered a rocket-arm, and made the team as a walk-on. As he was still only a walk-on, he had to earn his stripes, practicing throws in the back yard to his Golden Retriever, Buddy. Soon, however, he discovered that Buddy could make all the impossible catches, and was a better receiver than those on his team. The two combined to make an unstoppable force on the football field. However, an evil duo of Russian circus-managers attempt to kidnap Buddy and use him as their main attraction, while Josh's team makes it to the championship. Can Josh save Buddy before the big game?

Find out here!




Seriously though - Tom Harmon rocked pretty hard. Would love to see a movie about his life.


*The Big Ten is not the ACC, or the Big East - so we've got that going for us. However, from top to bottom, I think the Big Ten hold their own with the Pac-10, gets beat soundly by the b12, and gets crushed by the SEC. I've railed against this line of thinking for a long time, but this year especially, the Big Ten just isn't that strong.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

TOGTM Cures What Ails Ya: Michigan Edition

BIG TEN PROPAGANDA ALERT: Psssssssssssssssssssst... of all the major conferences, only the Big 10 and the Big 12 do not feature a team with a losing record, don't tell the MSM though [/slinks back into the darkness of an empty parking garage] .

Teams in the Big 10, some have looked great, some have looked less great, but all have an issue or two that need a remedy in order to forge ahead as we enter October. Today's patient? Turns out that Michigan is sitting out in the waiting room. Stunner I know. Quick aside, I don't know about you, but when I'm reading article or preview and the writer proceeds to use a contraction of the team's nickname that is NEVER used by anyone who actually follows the team I stop reading. Yes I'm talking about the use of "Wolves" in any association with the University of Michigan. I don't see anyone using "Nitts" for PSU, or "Sparts" for MSU, or "Hoos" for IU (although that has potential), anyway you get the idea. Back on topic!

With Michigan holding on to a comfortable lead at this point in the year for "Most Turnovers Ever In The History of Sport" as well as being the chief contender in the specialty category of "Most Turnovers Lost In Which the Opposing Team Has Not Touched the Ball Carrier Nor Been Within Five Yards of Him At Any Point" they are in desperate need of some tutoring in Football Security 101. Because I can't handle watching another kickoff return taken out to about the 17 yardline and then WHOOPSIE-DAISY! Sorry about that D, hope you're not too mad at us! Phew, sweet job forcing only a field goal, don't worry we won't let you do... WHOOOPS!

The fix? Easy. Each U of M player that has any chance of catching and/or carrying a football is assigned a "pet football" during the week. These "pet footballs" carry a cash value of 100 dollars for any student or university employee that can take the football and return it to the Michigan AD. Where does that 100 dollars come from? The player that the lost their pet.


Just you wait until a small female student majoring in Asian Studies lays out Kevin Grady and returns that first football.

Second opinion? Well I would have paid to hear what Rodriguez told his players at halftime would happen to the next guy that lost the football, but whatever it was, it managed to reduce the turnovers from 5 (almost 6) to zero. Perhaps it was the pet football idea? Perhaps it involved Mike Barwis, a kiddie pool of baby oil, a football, and a pair of jumper cables hooked up to a car battery... you know, whatever works. Let's put it this way, when Threet took off on his 58 yard ramble, you'll note that he protected that football towards the end as though his very life depended on it.

Seriously though, is there some sort of workout that Barwis can create so that instead of fumbling the football, the player can instead grip it so hard that it ruptures and deflates, making it impossible to lose grip on it?


Regardless, the Wolverines have managed to tally 14 lost turnovers in just four games, just a shade under four TO's a game. Nine of those turnovers have been fumbles... [/insert Mike Hart's career fumble tally of THREE here]. Two of those games have featured more than five turnovers, and since 1955, Michigan has won exactly 10 football games in which they've turned the football over at least 5 times (scroll to bottom).

TGULP: Week 5

Here goes, again, Beauford's picks first then mine:

1. Oklahoma..... Bama
2. Bama..... Oklahoma
3. Mizzou..... Mizzou
4. LSU...... LSU
5. PSU....... Texas

B2: Heavy is the crown, or some shit like that. Regardless, Oklahoma gets to wear it for now, but as invincible as they've looked, I think their time is coming. All Alabama has done is beat 2 highly ranked opponents (at the time, at least) on the road. That's good enough for the 2 spot, especially given the rest of the top-dog SEC implosion. Upon hearing that Georgia would be donning all-black for the game, the Alabama S&C coach quipped "they'll be going to a mother-fu4%@ funeral." Indeed, good sir, indeed. Mizzou continues to impress, and should have no problem mowing down the B12 North. LSU gets the bump from sheer top-dog attrition. Penn State - having just won their first game against a real football team - finds themselves in the drivers seat for the Big Ten, and in the top 5 nationally. With the Big Ten as apparently weak as it is, Penn State could make some noise nationally before this thing is over - as scary as that prospect is.

Champ: This marks the first time this year B2 and I have not had the same team at the top of the poll. Alabama's resume is unmatched in the country right now, sorry Oklahoma, but you're second fiddle to the Tahhhhde right now. This is an enormous jump for the Tide in my side of the poll, but like I said, nobody else has done what they have thus far this year. I am not jumping Penn State over Texas, which will all be moot if Penn State manages to run through the coming weeks unscathed... or until the Texas/Oklahoma fake rivalry game comes around (real rivalries go to each others' campuses by the by). Mizzou not playing Oklahoma during the regular season is a shame at this point.

6. Texas.... Penn State
7. BYU..... BYU
8. Ohio State.... Utah
9. Georgia..... Texas Tech
10. USF..... USF

B2: Texas impressed me this weekend with a solid defensive performance and accurate QB play. Really, Texas and Penn State should be 5a and 5b at this point, but I'm a Big Ten guy, and as such, Texas takes a back seat. If they can beat Oklahoma, you'll see them probably vault into the mix for that coveted 2 spot. BYU is rollin' against nobody, but hey, that's what BCS "busters" do. And that brings us to Ohio State and USC, which is, like, Arg!?!?. I know USC beat Ohio State. I also know that USC then proceeded to lose to an Oregon State team that is marginal at best, and bad at worst. As I said in a previous post, I think that Georgia and Ohio State have the most impressive losses to date, and they are ranked thusly. For explaination as to how Ohio State is ranked higher than USC, I offer this, which is unweildy and probably illogical: In my mind, OSU loss against highly ranked team > USC's loss against a nobody, despite the fact that the loss came against...USC. Yeah, put that in your pipe and smoke it. USF moves up via attrition.

Champ: Now it gets fun... BYU, Utah, Texas Tech, and USF all step into MIGHTY big shoes this week thanks to some serious carnage in the upper echelon of the ranks. USF is slowly managing to catch my attention... begrudgingly. I'm not showing any preference to a one loss team over these unbeatens just because of their names at this point. I don't think a Top 10 team gets to lose to a nobdoy (AHEM... USC) and stay in the Top 10. BYU and Utah are a pain because they don't play anyone except each other, but one cinderella punching doll isn't too terrible come BCS season (right Hawai'i?). I concur with what B2 is going to say about TT in the next group.

11. Texas Tech.... Georgia
12. USC.... USC
13. Florida.... Ohio State
14. Auburn.... Florida
15. Utah... Virginia Tech

B2: Texas Tech has finally put up enough points to get noticed, I suppose, although I still think they're going to get whalloped by the two B12 frontrunners. USC and Florida are mirror images of each other - still in the hunt after 1 loss, but needing some help. Auburn is in the same boat, having spent the week in unranked purgatory. I think the three 1 loss SEC teams plus USC are all still pretty good, and will each fight for a spot in the top 5 after this all shakes out. Utah is largely moot until they play BYU, at which point the winner will more than likely get to be the BCS beat-down team de jour.

Champ: Georgia stays in front of USC based upon my opinion of what each team has done so far. USC lost to Oregon State.... Oregon State has been TERRIBLE this year. Quick sidenote, had that loss been by another top ranked team not named "USC" you would've seen a much bigger drop by the MSM. I cannot put OSU in front of USC after what the Trojans did to the Buckeyes, I just can't. Va Tech moves up after another tough road win.

16. Boise..... Vandy
17. Vandy..... Northwestern
18. Michigan State..... Michigan State
19. Wisconsin...... Wisconsin
20. Virginia Tech..... Auburn

B2: Boise and Vandy are both on the clock. I'm not sold on either of them, but so far they deserve the right to be here. Michigan State may actually be the 2nd best team in the Big Ten. As long as Ringer gets his 150+ yards, that team is tough to beat. Seeing as I was never sold on Wisconsin, they should probably be even lower than this. For as poorly as Michigan played in the first half, Wisconsin proved that they could play poorererer. Michigan still isn't a good football team (although they're closing in on resembling a team that knows that they are indeed playing football). Virginia Tech won at Nebraska, and time will tell how impressive that was, if at all.

Champ: Vandy gets some recognition. Michigan State will be exposed when they encounter a defense, Jevon Ringer will not be running 40+ times for 200 yards against the defenses of Penn State, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Ohio State, go ahead and mark it down now. Completely disagree with the "Wisconsin playing poorerer" comment. It is literally impossible to play poorer than the following: 5 turnovers, 20 total yards, -7 yards passing, one first down. Read that again. Michigan came out and flat outplayed Wisconsin in the second half to the tune of 27-6. Not turning the football over five times and actually, you know, picking up yards with scoring drives of 80 yards, 85 yards, and 77 yards will do that. Wisconsin drops, but they were beaten, they didn't give it away.

21. Wake..... Boise
22. Oregon.... Fresno State
23. Northwestern.... Oregon
24. UCONN.... Wake
25. Ball State.... Ball State

B2: Does anyone care about these teams? Probably not. Wake is still in the driver's seat to win the ACC, FWIW. Oregon? Northwestern? Uconn? Ball State (yes, that's right, I've got Ball State ranked). Who cares? Not me.

Champ: I'm quickly realizing that ranking 25 teams is really pointless. Once you get to 20 you've covered all you need to cover. Thusly, no breakdown here and no defense of my picks as they simply don't matter.

TGULP Week 5:

1. TIE: Oklahoma and Alabama (3)
3. Mizzou (6)
4. LSU (8)
5. TIE: Texas and Penn State (11)
7. BYU (14)
8. TIE: Texas Tech and USF (20)
10. TIE: Georgia and Ohio State (21)
12. Utah (23)
13. USC (24)
14. Florida (27)
15. Vandy (33)
16. Auburn (34)
17. Va Tech (35)
18. Michigan State (36)
19. Boise (37)
20. Wisconsin (38)
21. Northwestern (40)
22. TIE: Oregon and Wake (45)
24. ***Fresno State (48)
25. TIE: Ball State and ***UCONN (50)

Due to various ties, there are 26 teams tanked. Wheee.

What did Michigan do to PO Gregg Easterbrook?

You know, for a guy who writes an NFL column, Gregg Easterbrook spends an inordinate amount of time talking about College Football and looking at space porn. A couple of questions:

1) When did it become en vogue for older columnists to creepily ogle cheerleaders? Forde does it with his "Dashette." Easterbrook does it with his cheerleaders of the week, celebrity shots, and world's hottest woman updates. It's weird and serves absolutely no purpose. If I want to look at hot girls, I can: I own the internet. Easterbrook and Forde both live on the internet, and haven't figured this out yet. I click over to ESPN.com so that I can read about sports - not to look at girls.

2) Does anyone actually read Easterbrook? His opening paragraph gets the dreaded "tldnr" from me.

3) What's with the space talk? There is a fantastic blog called "damn interesting" that details some of the crazy shit that goes on in the world, and looks at questions that are, frankly, awesome like "how long can you survive if you were jettisoned into space?" (spoiler: not long. not long at all.) Once again, I know where to click if I cared about space, particle colliders, or the various nebula's that make up our galaxy. I clicked onto ESPN to, and I can't stress this enough, read about sports. Stop it with the space garbage.

4) You write an NFL column. It's actually called "Tuesday Morning Quarterback." If it were a college football column, it would be called "Sunday Morning Quarterback" and you would be stomping on the feet of Matt Hinton, who is infinitely better than you in terms of content, style, and general "not being a douchebagness." In the latest TMQ column, you rail against those evil bastards at Michigan - putting in press boxes that will cost Joe Taxpayer millions of dollars. Just like the Colts did when they built Lucas Oil Stadium. Or the Yankees are doing with their new home. Or the Mets. Or the Univesity of Minnesota is doing with their entirely new stadium. Welcome to sports Mr. Easterbrook.

The end of his "Michigan" blurb:

"That's fairly disgusting. Perhaps a fitting punishment for all those subsidized wealthy twits is … Rich Rodriguez. The football gods have, after all, a sense of humor."

I understand. In the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, you've decided that Rich Rodriguez makes you mad, and thus, you're going to harp on it. We know this schtick. We've seen it before with Easterbrook refusing to let "spygate" die despite the fact that there was nothing there to see. You've railed against the Rodriguez hire from the beginning, despite overwhelming logic that the hire wasn't actually evil.

The difference, of course, between your vilifying the Patriots and you vilifying Michigan is that you're an NFL expert: not a college football expert. There are countless of other places that are much better suited to explore College Football, so you talking about it makes about as much sense as talking about hot cheerleaders and space. Zero.